I decided to tell you all how much I hate..

..Paris Hilton!

Where to start, really? I don’t know, because I hate this social slut so much that I wouldn’t even use my axe to kill her as that would leave my axe crying in the corner trying to wash the blood away for feeling so dirty. She’s not as hot as she thinks she is! Overskinny, overtanned, overfashioned (yes, I just made that word) women are simply not sexy, they’re just waste of air. We would be better of just tearing her lungs out and feed them to poor children in Africa, that’s one of the few things that could make her useful aswell! And what’s wrong with her boobies? They look so wrong and miss-placed I just want to tear them off and replace them with Jack Daniels dispensers, and even then I’d have to wear a full protection suit to even come near her!

And what’s up with having to “star” in your own lame homemade porn and “leak” it to get famous? If you’re not good/sexy/smart/charming enough to get press coverage without getting nude, STAY IN THE BACKGROUND BITCH! It’s at the point where I can think about Paris Hilton instead of my grandmother whenever I wanna delay the second coming of Christ in bed. SHE IS THAT UGLY!

If I had my way, she would be killed by an angry mob during some random event where she decided to show her ugly, deformed nose. Oh, I know. Someone could use her fecking ugly pet dog to beat her to death, that would be. Two space wasting creatures gone with a few swings. I’d seriously have a good wank over pictures of a Paris Hilton with her dog stuck in her head, blood and goo everywhere and a huge angry mob running around her in circles poking her dead body with long poking sticks. Actually, she might even look better with the dog stuck in there.

I decided to tell you all how much I hate..

..Bono!

Fecking peacemonkey, he does nothing but make retarded music with his “awesome” band and travel the world in his private luxury jet to tell us all about how we all should be equal and share all we got! Now, where’s my share of the money you two-faced prick? He’s a fucking asswipe and he does certainly not deserve all the fame or money he has.
I’d like to cut him, I’d like to cut him deep and then make 10 poor kids from africa or wherever cry into his wounds. Then I’d get a pack of wild dogs and let them piss on him, maybe even take a nibble of they feel hungry. But in the end, he’ll die hanging out of jet while I pilot it at full speed right over some random forest, did I hear someone say 10 points for every tree he smacks into?

..I had a bite of the best candy ever and decided to share with you my new addiction

Crackheads!

Taken from thinkgeek.com

Crackheads are white and dark chocolate covered espresso beans, and dang are they ever tasty! Each 1.3oz box has about 30-32 Crackheads inside, which packs a nice punch of about 120mg of caffeine per box. And 120mg of caffeine is a very sweet treat indeed. But seriously, there is nothing more enjoyable than inviting someone to your office to enjoy some Crackheads and Bawls.

Or as I like to put it, liquid crack sniffed from a whores stiff nipples! It’s fecking amazing, tastes fantastic and gives you a little jolt of caffeine to keep you going! Both my girlfriend and I rate them as one of our favourite candy types ever and we import it from the US just to get a taste every now and then. I’m telling you right now, order some and try it out ASAP or I’ll have to smack you silly!

I decided to tell you all how much I hate..

..Amy Winehouse

Why don’t I like her? She’s a whining fecking maggot, a bitch worse than Alanis Morissette, a drugged up little shitkid and I’d like nothing better than to take a big fecking sign, write rehab on it and then use that sign to beat her into a blood pulp! There’s nothing, noooothing in the whole world that could make me hate Amy Winehouse less, even her death from an overdose (come on, we’re all just waiting on it anyway) would make me me angry as I would miss out on the chance to smash those teeth out of her moaning bitchmouth while laughing maniacly and just stabbing her a bit here and there untill she’d bleed to death. Come to think of it, she probably doesn’t bleed like we do since most of her blood must be alcohol by now. Maybe a match would do the trick? Meh, I’ll use a flamethrower to be on the safe side, yes. HAHAHA, ooh. She’ll explode from the inside once it starts bubbling, I’ll enjoy that. But before I get that far, I’ll force-rehab her, then give her drugs and rehab her again over and over again for 5 years. Oooh, that’ll be enjoyable. I’ll tape it all aswell, and sell it to some random TV-station as a reality show, I’ll make millions while killing her slowly, it’s a perfect win-win!
Or maybe I’ll just go with the old using a fork to gouge out her eyeballs and replace them with whinebottles (oh, I made a funny!), it will atleast improve her looks. I’ll give her something to be depressed about, that’s for sure, moaning drugwhore.

Anyway, yes. Amy Winehouse is the first person on the list of people I don’t like, in case you missed that part.

..I killed a boss and got my new and purdy Swift White Hawkstrider

Aaaaaaamazing! :o

..I found

the best website ever!
Gentlemen, say hello to bitchmakemeasandwich.com

..I got a sex-change operation and decided to marry

Fernando Torres!

Quite possible the best thing since sliced milk, Fernando is now currently nr 2 on the famous “love of my life” list. Who’s number 1 you ask? That’s for me to know, and you to find out later! But for now you’ll have to do with a bit of praise for the kid who’s been smacking them in match after match this season, an amazing striker that’s actually worth the money we splashed on him for once and one of Rafa’s best signings without a doubt. A good old scoring machine, just the kind of striker we’ve lacked ever since little Michael Owen left to play in sunny spain! He’s so damn good I just might go ahead and have that operation, God knows he deserves a little piece of Pyso in his life.

Fernando <3

…I was snooping around on youtube

and I found a song I just have to share with you all!

Machinae Supremacy – Gimme More! 

Go check it out!

And check out the bands homepage;

machinaesupremacy.com

..I watched some Star Trek

and Worf said a thing or two that most of the shitkids on the scene could learn a thing or ten from.

A klingon’s honor is all, without it he is nothing

And while I kinda agree with this and I think that their honor is one of the most important things a man or woman has, I have no problem seeing that I might be living a bit in the past here. But that’s no reason that kids should run around and act like freaking idiots anyway.

A lot of young people have problems they don’t know who to share them with, they might feel they don’t have any friends that’s close enough to share such information with and/or maybe they are still in that stage of life where talking to their parents about anything is embarrassing and stupid. But newsflash, this does not give you a free pass to take out your problems on internet forums. I’m sorry you are having a hard time, but odds are that so has everyone else here aswell and we really don’t need you to act like a dick so you can feel better.

Not everyone has problems either, some are just dickheads whenever you give them the chance to lash out at someone without getting their ass kicked as a reward. These are what I like to call worthless shitbags that’s a waste of space, nobody deserves getting split in two by a giant axe more than these people. If it was up to me, we’d stick all these rat bastards in a camp. Yes, a fine honor camp. There they would learn to treat other people with respect and the meaning of honor in todays society, not getting out untill I decided it was time. And they would learn it all the old way, a good beating every morning and night untill they’re soft like the kittens I just ate as a snack.

But I’m getting tired and angry just writing about this, so to sum it all up rather quickly;
Idiots + anonymity = bad idea

..I killed a man

No really, I did. I’d have him come here and write about it, but he’s dead.

Anyway, welcome to the rape camp! My little corner where I’ll rant and ramble all I wish, without people telling me to shut the fuck up. Well, people will. I’ll just ignore them.

Stick around for more fun